Mr. Clean

The homes of liberals have never been cleaner.

This weekend I contorted myself around the bathroom sink after deciphering how to unscrew the drain, and wiped up the dark gunk just beneath its ring at which I have been glancing for months each time I brush my teeth.

The bathroom fan mounted in the ceiling provided a similar opportunity. I finally watched a YouTube video explaining its removal and subsequent deep cleaning methods. I stood atop the three-step metal stool, shooting a can of compressed air while brushing the blades with a manual toothbrush, my glasses fogging up from the N-95 mask, clumps of dust falling on and around me.

There’s really a lot more up there than you think.

I also dusted the ceiling fans that otherwise run constantly.

There’s more up there than you think, too.

Sometimes the biggest moments are the ones that call us back to smallness. One faucet, one vent, one ceiling fan.

The nation may be a veering towards a big mess, but for those most concerned, it will happen in rooms immaculate.