This Whole Thing

     Doesn’t it feel like the Titanic is going down and the string quartet is playing upbeat music so there’s no panic? And all the people are just told to put their lifebelts on?

     I’m not saying it’s that bad I’m just saying that’s what it feels like. Do we have enough wine?

Uncertainty

It's ok.

This Whole Virus Thing

Wash you hands, don't wring them.

Anticipation

     Doesn’t it feel like we’re on the cusp of a lot of things? Between viruses and elections and a new season of Drag Race, it’s all kind of a lot right now.

Tattoos

     Tattoos are difficult for me because first of all they cost money, and second of all they are a decision that I can not take back unless I spend even more money.

Skipping

     I know I skipped publishing an essay last week. It was one of those weeks where it just didn’t happen.

     Have you every decided to do something but then it came time and you decided, actually no? Or maybe you decided you didn’t want to do something but then you got there and you were like, actually yes?

     Decisions made in the now about the future are not as impactful as decisions made in the now about the now.

I Know

Calling these "essays" is generous. But I am all about generosity.

Cardboard

Cardboard can be recycled, which is kind of remarkable because it's paper that already has been. It's kind of like everything. Newness is always possible, out of the same old stuff.

Announcement

May this serve as notification that everything is pretty much the same with me.

North Star

     The biggest difference between right and wrong is that right feels like one thing and wrong feels like another.

Merry Happy

To all.

Remounting

     If you were doing a good job for a long time, and then you falter, that’s okay. Getting back on the horse is more important than falling off. And there’s nothing like a new year to make you consider the stable.

Resolve

re·solve

/rəˈzälv/

verb

1. settle or find a solution to (a problem, dispute, or contentious matter).2. decide firmly on a course of action.

How satisfying, right?

The Process

     So many things take so much time. And the parts that you think will take the longest don’t always, and all that stuff at the end always takes longer than you think. And the number of times you’ve thought about it versus actually doing it is so insane. And sometimes people check up on it but mostly it’s just you and it. And what it is at the end is, of course, never as you pictured it at the beginning. And that brings up all these new questions about why you started it in the first place. And then at some point it’s over, and you’re back to yourself, and then something else comes up that makes you say, “I think I want to do that.”

Priorities

Something done at the last minute is still done.

Dark Ages

     Chilly days feel abbreviated with sunsets in the afternoon. Summer brings drinks with lots of ice, while winter brings blankets and lamps. But I always forget that the darkest day happens in just late December, when all is merry and bright. And then begins the slow crawl, to more light, a new year, and hope makes a steady comeback.

Halloween

One night per year when everyone is handed a big 'ol permission slip, and you see the inside come out.

Haircut

     Getting your hair cut by the same person is a nice thing. But it’s not always the best thing, and it’s certainly not the only way. Trying a new person takes courage. But why not?

Healthy Debate

     A presidential debate is a curious performance practice found somewhere between monologue, book report, horse race, job interview, bad date, and pageant. The result is a flax seed smoothie I consume only once every few months, wincing with the self-assurance that it must be good for me. If politics really is theater for ugly people, I just wish there was better acting.

Running

     Every time I run I feel proud of myself for getting out there. But then I get discouraged when I feel the onset of fatigue. But if I run long enough, I rise above it, like a plane ascending through the clouds. Then I can cruise, on autopilot, and land somewhere new.